These conditions were taken from a book called Al Jihad Anwarnuha wa Ahkaamuha wal had Afaasul Baynahu wa Bayna Fawda (Jihad its Types and its Rulings and a Clear Distinction between it and Anarchy). The book was written by Sheikh Dr Hamd bin Ibraheem al Uthmaan and was read and introduced by Sheikh Saalih Saad al-Suhaimi al-Harbi page 133
On the authority of Abdullah ibn Umar (radi allahu anhuma) said; “A man came to the Prophet (salalla alahi wasalam) seeking permission to do Jihad, so he the Prophet said “Are your parents alive?; So he said “Yes”. So he said “So in them both is your Jihad”. (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No 5972, Sahih Muslim 2549)
So Ibn Hajr (rahimullah) said; “It means if you have two parents alive you do Jihad in being good to them both, and if you do that you will get the same reward as fighting the enemy”. (Fath ul Bari Vol 10 pg 403)
On the authority of Abi Saeed al Khudri (radi allahu anhu) who said “A man made Hijra to the Prophet (salalla alahi wasalam), so the Prophet said; “Have you got anybody in Yemen?”, “So the man said my two parents”; So he (salalla alahi wasalam) said “Did you seek their permission?” “So the man said “No”. So the Prophet said; “Go back to them both and seek permission from them, and if they give permission, then do Jihad, and if not be good them”. Ahmad Vol 3 pg 76; Abu Dawood, Hadith No 2530 and Ibn Hibban authenticated it Vol 1 pg 325 Hadith No 423.
Abu Umar ibn Abdul Bari (rahimullah) said in Istithkir Vol 14 pg 96 “I don’t know any difference that it is not permissible for a man to go on a military expedition and both his parents or one of them are rejecting that because opposing them in implementing or doing the compulsory acts(1) is disobedience and it is from the major sins. Also it is not permissible to go out when one parent has given permission and the other has rejected.
Awzaa’ee was asked concerning a man who wants to go out to do battle and he has two parents, one of them gives him permission and one of them does not give permission, so he responded; “He doesn’t go out”. So it was said to him (Awzaa’ee) if his father wants him to go out together with him to do battle to help and serve him, and his mother rejects Awzaa’ee replied “He doesn’t go out”. (Sharh as Sunnah Vol 10 pg 379).
Also if his two parents give him permission and then change their minds, it is compulsory on the son to return from his going out to Jihad. Ibn Qudaamah (rahimullah) said in Mughni Vol 13 pg 27, “If he goes out for Jihad Kifiyah (a communal obligation) and they change their minds after he has left and before he has engaged the enemy it is compulsory upon him to return”. This is because if there is a preventative factor at the beginning of Jihad if that preventative factor is found while he is on his way to perform the act Jihad it will be just like other preventative factors.
Non Muslim Parents
Muhammed bin Eesa bin Asbeegh, (d 620 AH) wrote in Al Injaad fil Abwaabul Jihad pg 110, that the Ulama differed if the parents are Non Muslims. So it has been said he does not go out to do battle except with their permission because of the generality of the order and this is narrated by Sufyan at Thawri and others. So it has been said, ‘Except if he knows that they are preventing him out of enmity to Islam’.
Imaam Shafi’ee said “He can go out to do battle without the permission of Non Muslim parents because the order in this affair specifically applies if the parents are Muslims”.
1) There is a difference of opinion concerning this issue and the above opinion is a minority opinion, but this demonstrates the seriousness of disobeying the parents.